you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I understand Curling. That high.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
