Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my shit smells like andre
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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