When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
