I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize