i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
