i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
