i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
