we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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