when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
