think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
