do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
