I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
