Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
