3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
