Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
