I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
