Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think your dad took our porno
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
