she looked like the bat from fern gully.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
