Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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