Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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