I want to make a zoo with you.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
