I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
