The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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