Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
