I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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