DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
