Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
