Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize