Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
