i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
