i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
