That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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