then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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