What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
