Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
