everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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