Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
