so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize