You just made me feel so damn special
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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