Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
