My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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