if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
