Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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