But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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