i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
