i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
