I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
