i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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