i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
