idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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