i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
