We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize