thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
