Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize