Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
