well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
As shirtless as possible
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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