i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wish my penis had a tongue
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize