They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He felt like a one man threesome
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
