a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
