i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
